Canto 2 -
Ayodhyā-kāṇḍa
Chapter 20: Kausalyā’s Lamentation
Text 2.20.38
न दृष्टपूर्वं कल्याणं सुखं वा पतिपौरुषे।
अपि पुत्रे तु पश्येयमिति राम स्थितं मया॥
na dṛṣṭa-pūrvaṁ kalyāṇaṁ sukhaṁ vā pati-pauruṣe
api putre tu paśyeyam iti rāma sthitaṁ mayā
na = not; dṛṣṭa-pūrvam = I did experience; kalyāṇam = auspiciousness; sukham = happiness; vā = or; pati-pauruṣe = despite the presence of my heroic husband; api = despite; putre tu = my son’s presence; paśyeyam = I have to experience [all this]; iti = this; rāma = Rāma; sthitam mayā = is my situation.
Rāma, despite the presence of my heroic husband I did not experience auspiciousness or happiness. Despite my son’s presence, I have to experience [all this]. This is my situation.
Kausalyā states that she did not experience any auspiciousness in the form of the opulence of possessing [special] ornaments appropriate to the chief queen or the happiness of receiving her husband’s honor and so on.
These were distresses she had experienced in the past. In the next verse, she talks about distresses she will have to experience in the future.