Canto 2 -
Ayodhyā-kāṇḍa
Chapter 30: Rāma Allows Sītā to Follow Him to the Forest
Text 2.30.20
पश्चादपि हि दुःखेन मम नैवास्ति जीवितम्।
उज्झितायास्त्वया नाथ तदैव मरणं वरम्॥
paścād api hi duḥkhena mama naivāsti jīvitam
ujjhitāyās tvayā nātha tadaiva maraṇaṁ varam
paścāt api hi = even later on; duḥkhena = because of the agony; mama na eva asti = there won’t be; jīvitam = a life [for me to live]; ujjhitāyāḥ = [experienced by me] upon being abandoned; tvayā = by You; nātha = O Lord; tadā eva = in Your presence; maraṇam = death; varam = is certainly better.
O Lord, even later on, there won’t be a life [for me to live] because of the agony [experienced by me] upon being abandoned by You. Death is certainly better in Your presence.
Sītā thinks that she wouldn’t have a life [to live] later on, that is, after Rāma departs [to the forest].
She then anticipated that Rāma might tell her, “[Natural] death due to distress is better than an unnatural death due to poison.” With this in mind, she speaks the next verse.