NOTE. In Caitanya-śikṣāmṛta (2.4), Śrīla Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura explains the sense in which the āśrama of the gṛhasthas is considered the best:

parivrājaka o brahmacāri-gaṇa kevala gṛhasthera sāhāyye pratipālita hana, ataeva gṛhastha-āśrama samasta āśrama apekṣā śreṣṭha.

“The sannyāsīs and brahmacārīs maintain themselves with the help of the gṛhasthas. Therefore, the gṛhastha-āśrma is the best among all the āśramas.”

Among the four āśramas, gārhasthya is the best in terms of external independence: the brahmacārīs, vānaprasthas and sannyāsīs are externally dependent on the gṛhasthas for their maintenance.

In other words, from the external point of view gārhasthya is considered the highest of the four āśramas.

But in terms of realization of Godhead, the āśrama of sannyāsa is the best among all the āśramas.

In Jaiva-dharma (Chapter 7), Śrīla Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura describes the true nature of gārhasthya thus:

gṛhastha-avasthāṭi jivera ātma-tattva udaya karibāra o śikṣā karibāra catuṣpāṭhī-viśeṣa. śikṣā samāpta haile catuṣpāṭhī tyāga karite pāre.

“Gṛhastha-āśrama is a school for the living being to study and realize spiritual truths. Once the studies are over, he can leave the school.”

He then clarifies this by enlisting the symptoms of one whose “studies in the school of gṛhastha-āśrama” are over:

ādau strī-saṅga-spṛhā-śūnyatā, sarva-jīve pūrṇa-dayā, artha-vyavahāre tuccha-jñāna, kevala grāsācchādana-saṅgrahajanya abhāva-kāle yatna, kṛṣṇe śuddhā rati, bahirmukha-saṅge tuccha-jñāna, māna-apamāne sama-buddhi, bahv-ārambhe spṛhā-śūnyatā, jīvane maraṇe rāga-dveṣa-rāhitya.

“Freedom from the hankering to associate with women, full compassion to all living beings, the realization that earning money is insignificant, the endeavor to accumulate food and clothing only when they are unavailable, pure bhāva-bhakti towards Kṛṣṇa, realization that the association of those averse to Kṛṣṇa is insignificant, equal disposition towards [personal] honor and dishonor, being absolutely free from the hankering to take up many ventures and to be free from attraction and repulsion towards living and dying respectively.”¹

He then quotes from Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam about those who are fit to graduate from the school of gṛhastha-āśrama:

sarva-bhūteṣu yaḥ paśyed bhagavad-bhāvam ātmanaḥ
bhūtāni bhagavaty ātmany eṣa bhāgavatottamaḥ

mayy ananyena bhāvena bhaktiṁ kurvanti ye dṛḍhām
mat-kṛte tyakta-karmāṇas tyakta-svajana-bāndhavāḥ

visṛjati hṛdayaṁ na yasya sākṣād
dharir avaśābhihito ’py aghaugha-nāśaḥ
praṇaya-rasanayā dhṛtāṅghri-padmaḥ
sa bhavati bhāgavata-pradhāna uktaḥ

“The most advanced devotee sees within everything the soul of all souls, the Supreme Personality of Godhead, Śrī Kṛṣṇa. Consequently he sees everything in relation to the Supreme Lord and understands that everything that exists is eternally situated within the Lord.” (Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam 11.2.45)

[Lord Kapila to Devahūti:] “Such a sādhu engages in staunch devotional service to the Lord without deviation. For the sake of the Lord he renounces all other connections, such as family relationships and friendly acquaintances within the world.” (Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam 3.25.22)

“The Supreme Personality of Godhead is so kind to the conditioned souls that if they call upon Him by speaking His holy name, even unintentionally or unwillingly, the Lord is inclined to destroy innumerable sinful reactions in their hearts. Therefore, when a devotee who has taken shelter of the Lord’s lotus feet chants the holy name of Kṛṣṇa with genuine love, the Supreme Personality of Godhead can never give up the heart of such a devotee. One who has thus captured the Supreme Lord within his heart is to be known as bhāgavata-pradhāna, the most exalted devotee of the Lord.” (Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam 11.2.55)

He then states:

ei lakṣaṇa sakala ye gṛhastha-bhaktera upasthita haya, tini āra karma-kṣama thākena nā; sutarāṁ tini gṛha-tyāgī haiyā paḍena.

“A gṛhastha devotee of Lord Kṛṣṇa who has developed these characteristics is no longer capable of executing his duties [prescribed for the gṛhastha-āśrama]. Therefore, he becomes a renunciant.”

Since the Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam is solely devoted to bringing about internal realization of the nature of the soul and the Supreme Soul, it states that the sannyāsa-āśrama is the best of the four āśramas from this perspective:

āśramāṇām ahaṁ turyaḥ

[Lord Kṛṣṇa to Uddhava:] “Among the āśramas, I am sannyāsa, the fourth āśrama.” (Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam 11.16.19)

gṛhāśramo jaghanato brahmacaryaṁ hṛdo mama
vakṣaḥ-sthalād vane-vāsaḥ sannyāsaḥ śirasi sthitaḥ

[Lord Kṛṣṇa to Uddhava:] “The married order of life appeared from the loins of My universal form, and the celibate students came from My heart. The forest-dwelling retired order of life appeared from My chest, and the renounced order of life was situated within the head of My universal form.”² (Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam 11.17.14)

In other words, from the spiritual point of view sannyāsa is considered the highest of the āśramas.

As we already noted in the beginning chapters of the First Canto of this great literature, the Rāmāyaṇa factually promotes dharma and mokṣa, not artha or kāma. In other words, it presents nivṛtti- mārga, the Vedāntic path of renunciation and detachment, not pravṛtti-mārga, the Vedic path of enjoyment and attachment.